When: Saturday, October 22nd, 2011 What: Amanda & Allen's combined Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Where: Jungle-Themed Party Bus Details: Riders are permitted to bring and consume alcohol on the party bus. The bus makes various stops per the bride/groom's request at bars/clubs. Time: Bus scheduled to leave at 8:00pm
My Saturday. Woke up around 8:00am and began prepping for the evening's festivities. I also spent a good deal of time loafing before our appointment at noon. Gary and I get dressed in our workout clothes and head over to Anytime Fitness for our hour workout. We get home and I begin making some cupcakes for the party. Always good to have some food to help absorb some of the alcohol. SOME. Anyway, I got them baked and cooling in the fridge while also playing some Gears 3 with Gary. We finished up a round, I showered and got dressed into my sexy black dress and leopard print accessories – since it was a jungle-theme afterall!
Once I'm ready to go, I finish frosting the cupcakes and adding some penis-shaped sprinkles to the tops. Then I get a call from Amanda and we chat about the need for some better outfit choices, so I round up some clothes and head over to her place – around 6:00pm. Gary drops me off and heads over to Jeff's house for the evening to have pizza and play video games. Sounds like the perfect night to me.
Amanda and I go up to her bedroom and she tries on the selections I brought and she lands on the awesome off the shoulder black velvet-y long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. She looks great! We go back downstairs while Allen is loading up Liam's overnight items for his stay at grandma/pa's house. We're all shooting the shit, and Axelina shows up. Now we're all standing around in the kitchen chatting and prepping alcoholic beverages into coolers and deciding how we're going to bring all of our items to Willie's Hidden Harbor, where the party bus will be picking us up (and dropping us back off).
More and more people arrive and it's only slightly awkward since I only end up knowing a handful of people. I'm a pretty damned social girl, though, so I don't mind – I figure once everyone is good and liquored up, I'll be bffs with everyone. That's typically how it goes. Axel and I decide that to make things more fun for the two of us, we'll be each other's date and not overwhelm Amanda, since she should be spending time with Allen. I was assuming that was the whole point of making the bachelor parties combined – since they don't always have a lot of time to spend together otherwise. It's finally to the point in time when we should be heading over to the bar. Only 4 of us ended up walking to the bar from Amanda's place. It's only a 2 block walk, and yet everyone loaded into cars and drove... and let us walk in pitch darkness. That was kind of my first “It's gonna be one of THOSE nights, huh?” Not that it was the end of the world or anything. Actually, it was probably good to burn a couple of calories before the unnecessary intake of calories that had yet to come. We got to Willie's and hung out in the bar for a few minutes while we waited for the bus to arrive.
The bus driver was on the dot at 8pm. However, the next “those nights” moment came when the driver, Amy, came out and told us she forgot her cellphone in her truck a few blocks away and she would need that for when we wanted to call her to come get us from a bar to go to the next destination. Okay. The first thing that crossed my mind was, how do you people get off charging $100 an hour when you're not even professionally prepared for the evening? But again, I smiled and thought, whatever, we're here to have a good time and sometimes shit happens. We can still drink on the bus, so this way we could get started while we wait for the cellphone to be retrieved. I wasn't using a stop watch or anything, but it felt like it took somewhere in the range of 30-45 minutes of idling in the parking lot of Willie's before we finally started moving and began the evening. I had drank about ¼ of my bottle of wine by that point. Which was a lot – since it was one of those big bottles. I was classy, too. Drinking it out of a pink penis-shaped straw. Amanda was drinking out of a HUGE penis cup with a straw. Molly made her the drinks which ended up being Cotton Candy vodka and Sprite. It was pretty good – but then again, I was pretty drunk by the time I tasted it later that evening. Axel and I were enjoying the old feelings of sitting on our knees the bus seats, looking at everyone else. It reminded me of high school all over again! Amanda was beaming and having a great time already. We were blasted with pop music and the bus's interior lights were strings of colorful rope lights. It was actually super cool. There was a little bathroom in the back of the bus that could only handle liquids – so there was a no pooping rule and ladies had to throw toilet paper into a trash can. I only used the bus bathroom once, so it wasn't that bad. However, someone was gassy as hell and made the whole bus stink twice. Thank god there were many open windows! LOL
We even tore into the cupcakes early. Molly had the first one, a smily face, and Axel chose the clock. I chose the heart shape and we enjoyed. I don't recall what happened to the cupcakes from there on out. I vaguely remember eating another one, but I couldn't tell you when.
We had a long trip first to Hudson, WI, and I remember stopping at the bar Dick's. I remember liking that place for their free popcorn. Greatest idea ever. I think I shared about 6 baskets of popcorn with Axel. It was a lot, anyway. She bought us a shot of Jose Cuervo, and then Bobby (Who I didn't even really know) gave us $10 to buy another round of shots of Petron for the three of us. Well, it was like $22, but Axel covered the $2 +tip so it wasn't so bad. After those two shots, I was definitely over the top. I had seriously never been that drunk before – and it was a good drunk. I was a happy drunk. Having a great time and riding the feeling as long as it would allow me to. Axel was right there with me on the drunkness and she was enjoying it for as long as she could, too.
We got back on the bus and hit up another club in Hudson. I couldn't tell you what it was called. I honestly don't remember seeing the sign out front. I don't remember much of that club, actually. I remember using the restroom and eating more popcorn. I remember thinking it was way too salty, especially compared to the popcorn at Dick's. We didn't drink anything there since we were plenty drunk for one night. Once we got back on the bus, we headed back into the St. Paul area. I REALLY wish I knew the name of the club we went to next, because it was AWESOME! I felt bad because on the way to that club, Axel started feeling very sick and wanted to go home. She kept saying that she just wanted Jeff. So she called him and asked him to come meet them at the club we were at.
This was the only place we went to that had legitimate dancing. It was more of a club than a bar. I was soooo happy to dance. Amanda and Allen were dancing and I remember some of their cousins dancing around us, as well. It was so much fun. After a few songs we went and sat at a booth and talked about god only knows what and then I wanted to go outside because I was hot. Even in late October with my tiny dress on. Another awesome moment. I ended up talking with Amanda's cousins and just like I predicted, we were suddenly bffs. Drunken bffs. It was awesome. I felt like I had known her for 10 years and we were just catching up on life. We both wanted to go back to the bus, so we did and hung out there until everyone else was back and ready to move on. This was the landmark for the last moment I remember everyone still being happy. Axel was gone – and I didn't realize it then, but that would have been the perfect moment for me to leave, as well. There's a girl with her head out of the window, throwing up. Thankfully she knew enough to do that instead of puking on the bus and getting charged $150, or some crazy price like that.
We started heading toward Alary's in downtown St. Paul. Allen was getting frusterated with Amy (bus driver) for not knowing the fastest way to get there. Maybe she did know... I mean, she wasn't the drunk one, afterall. I couldn't say for sure, but he was getting mighty pissed at her. Amanda finally convinced him to come sit by her and chill out. Reassuing him that we would get there. Low and behold, we did. I had never been inside there and had no idea about the mostly naked bar tender ladies. Swizzle sticks in sports bras and boyshort panties. No joke. Anything for a buck! I was still so far gone that I really didn't mind, actually. I was like, go get those perverts' money, ladies!! Good for you! I took a picture of them to remind myself of the perks of having a good body.
Molly and I went into a random photobooth and had our pictures taken. Again, who knows why, really. Seemed like a great idea at the time. Molly ended up getting frusterated with how long it took for the pictures to develop and walked out of the bar. I waited until I realized that the picture strip had gotten caught in a lip of the machine and I reached in and pulled it out. It was totally fine. I laughed about the pictures and then folded it and put it in my cleavage for safe keeping. That's where my cards and money were, too. How could I lose them if they were stuck to my boobs? Oh, my cellphone ended up in there, too. It was a crowded dress by the end of the night.
Everyone was disappearing, so I decided to go back out to the bus, too, to check what was going on. Oh lord. I felt like I wanted to just walk home from there. But it was like 1am, and I live in the ghetto and I'd be walking home in a foxy black dress with cowboy boots on. Yeah. No. Even in my drunken stupor I knew that would be a bad idea. I thought about calling a cab, but what cab has ever cost only $10? That's all I had. So... no. I already paid to ride the bus, so I'll ride the bus.
I get on the bus and Molly is holding Amanda and comforting her. I see that Amanda is very drunk and very much crying. I don't know what Amanda said to Molly, but Molly kept telling her that Liam was fine, that he was with their dad and was sleeping soundly right now. She kept telling her that Allen loves her and everything is going to be okay. It was... weird. Maybe Molly was just saying nice comforting things in general to calm her down. Not sure.
I sit down on the other side of Amanda and start rubbing her back to calm her, as well. Molly gives me a head nod of 'thanks' and looks around the bus at the situation at hand. It's pretty clear that EVERYONE is drunk as hell. The girl who was puking out of the window is passed out on the seat. No one seems to care, and just leaves her alone in the seat. The ladies on the bus are looking more distressed than having a good time anymore. I still feel like a happy drunk, but being forced into a sad drunk. And that's what I become. Sad. I text Gary to let him know we're on our way back and that I am looking forward to going home asap. The men on the bus are all pissed off. Amanda's sister Laura, and her husband Jeremy didn't drink a drop all night. They're totally sober and just observing the turn of events. The bus stops because there is a train going by near Amanda's place. As we're waiting, Allen is now yelling at Amy telling her she doesn't know where the fuck she's going and basically telling her she sucks. Amanda, still crying, keeps yelling at Allen to stop and tells him over and over again “if you love me, you'll stop”. It worked a couple of times, at least. Molly is now crying into someone's shoulder. The sadness deepens for me. Now Molly's brother Alex is belligerent, as well, and starts yelling at Allen. It's clear to anyone watching and listening that Alex is not a fan of Allen, at all. He's saying things like, this woman over here loves you. What the fuck is your problem? It's starting to freak me out a little since the fight is happening right in front of where I am sitting. Amanda gets up and sits somewhere closer to Allen, still sobbing and trying to break them up. For whatever reason, Allen and Alex both go into the bus bathroom together. They're not in there for a lengthy time, but it still struck me as an awkward thing to do. They both come out again and I think for a brief moment that everything is okay now. Nope. Allen sits down next to Amanda and she's still telling him to stop and he lashes out at her. He tells her that it's not his fault and that it's all her fault that he's like this – and other similar words of pushing the blame for his belligerence onto her. That certainly doesn't stop the tears from pouring out.
More verbal fighting breaks out as the other male guests start in on the fighting toward Allen. They have him pegged down on a seat and are taking turns yelling in his face. Amanda starts screaming again to stop. Molly has finally had enough and runs off the bus, sobbing. One of her shoes in on the floor of the bus and I'm thinking she's going to freeze without her shoe. The yelling continues and someone steps on my foot. I know it hurts, but I am so fixated on getting Molly her shoe, that I slowly start scooting away from the fight. I finally just grab the shoe and get off the bus. Before I exit I tell Amy that I am so sorry for all of this and that she didn't deserve it. The last thing I ever hear her say is “It's okay. It happens all the time” Now I understand why she gets $100 an hour. She deserves way more.
Once I'm off the bus I realize most people are off the bus... I just didn't process that. I still hear Molly crying around a group of people and hearing her say how worried she is about Alex. She just wants Alex to be okay and not get arrested. I give her the shoe, and realize she doesn't have the other one, either. Lord only knows where that other shoe was. But I got her to at least wear the one. Suddenly Amanda's dad, Tom, shows up. Oh great. I've only known this guy since I was 12. The last thing I ever wanted was for him to see me drunk and in the midst of the chaos and drama. We're about 5 blocks from Amanda's place, and I'm contemplating just walking there.
Tom insists on giving us all a ride to Amanda's, so I jump in. He tries to get Alex to get into the car, as well, but Alex and his friends refuse and start walking off somewhere. Tom yells to them to just walk home – and if anyone (the police) stops them, to just say they're just going home. Molly keeps saying over and over how much she hates Allen and that he's a creep. It's hard to deny my own feelings of scepticism since I've had my own disinterest in him since I met him. She is upset by how controlling he is. Tom keeps trying to tell her that this is what happens to people when they drink, and that he's a good guy.
We get to Amanda's and Tom says he's going to go over to Willie's and make sure Amanda and Allen get home safe. I stand and chat with Laura and Jeremy who said they're the one's who called Tom because they knew the situation was getting ugly and that they needed his help. Bless him for coming out and doing that – at like, 1:30am. My dad would have been like, 'fuck it. You guys are adults. Figure it out.' And he'd be right. Laura and Jeremy leave and I walk over to Amanda's and just wait on her front patio... since no one is home yet. It's only a few minutes until Gary shows up and I am so relieved to see him. I get in the car and we drive home.
I brushed my teeth and got into my pajamas and then basically passed out the minute I laid down. Gary tells me I was even trying to be seductive, but we both know I would have just passed out before the good part. LOL!
I sleep for an hour or so before I am feeling nauseous. I drank some water and then ignore the sick feeling and sleep more. I only get another hour or two at most before I know it's time. I puke and feel a million times better. Floss and mouthwash, drink some more water and go back to sleep until 1:00pm. It was great. Gary ended up passing out on the couch and slept there the whole night with the dogs. When I got up, I was still a little tipsy, but I felt just fine all day. Had some breakfast of left over homemade pizza and enjoyed a relaxing Sunday. I haven't been to many bachelorette parties, so maybe I'm just being overly critical, but the ending of that party left such a bitter taste in my mouth... I did not have a good night overall, and would never want to do something like that again. I'm just not into partying, I guess.
I love Amanda like a sister.... and maybe it's really none of my business, but I am really, truly concerned.
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